Meanwhile, why could he not make up his mind to the absence of
children from a hearth brightened by such a wife? Why did his mind fly
uneasily to that void, as if it were the sole reason why life was
not thoroughly joyous to him? I suppose it is the way with all men and
women who reach middle age without the clear perception that life
never can be thoroughly joyous: under the vague dullness of the grey
hours, dissatisfaction seeks a definite object, and finds it in the
privation of an untried good. Dissatisfaction, seated musingly on a
childless hearth, thinks with envy of the father whose return is
greeted by young voices- seated at the meal where the little heads
rise one above another like nursery plants, it sees a black care
hovering behind every one of them, and thinks the impulses by which
men abandon freedom, and seek for ties, are surely nothing but a brief
madness. In Godfrey's case there were further reasons why his thoughts
should be continually solicited by this one point in his lot: his
conscience, never thoroughly easy about Eppie, now gave his
childless home the aspect of a retribution; and as the time passed on,
under Nancy's refusal to adopt her, any retrieval of his error
became more and more difficult.
On this Sunday afternoon it was already four years since there
had been any allusion to the subject between them, and Nancy
supposed that it was for ever buried.
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