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Gissing, George, 1857-1903

"New Grub Street"

At intervals he felt the full weight of his loneliness,
but there were happily long periods during which his Greek
studies and his efforts in realistic fiction made him indifferent
to the curse laid upon him. But after that hour of intimate
speech with Amy, he never again knew rest of mind or heart.
Accepting what Reardon had bequeathed to him, he removed the
books and furniture to a room in that part of the town which he
had found most convenient for his singular tutorial pursuits. The
winter did not pass without days of all but starvation, but in
March he received his fifteen pounds for 'Mr Bailey,' and this
was a fortune, putting him beyond the reach of hunger for full
six months. Not long after that he yielded to a temptation that
haunted him day and night, and went to call upon Amy, who was
still living with her mother at Westbourne Park. When he entered
the drawing-room Amy was sitting there alone; she rose with an
exclamation of frank pleasure.
'I have often thought of you lately, Mr Biffen. How kind to come
and see me!'
He could scarcely speak; her beauty, as she stood before him in
the graceful black dress, was anguish to his excited nerves, and
her voice was so cruel in its conventional warmth.


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