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Gissing, George, 1857-1903

"New Grub Street"

She
believed that there was some truth in his estimate of his own
powers; though as an editor he would almost certainly fail, as a
man of letters he had probably done far better work than some who
had passed him by on their way to popularity. Circumstances might
enable her to assist him, though not in the way he proposed. The
worst of it was that she could not let him see what was in her
mind. He must think that she was simply balancing her own
satisfaction against his, when in truth she suffered from the
conviction that to yield would be as unwise in regard to her
father's future as it would be perilous to her own prospect of
happiness.
'Shall we leave this to be talked of when the money has been paid
over to me?' she said, after a silence.
'Yes. Don't suppose I wish to influence you by dwelling on my own
hardships. That would be contemptible. I have only taken this
opportunity of making myself better known to you. I don't readily
talk of myself and in general my real feelings are hidden by the
faults of my temper. In suggesting how you could do me a great
service, and at the same time reap advantage for yourself I
couldn't but remember how little reason you have to think kindly
of me.


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