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Gissing, George, 1857-1903

"New Grub Street"

There may be thousands of women whom I could
love with equal sincerity.'
'I object to the word "love" altogether. It has been vulgarised.
Let us talk about compatibility. Now, I should say that, no
doubt, and speaking scientifically, there is one particular woman
supremely fitted to each man. I put aside consideration of
circumstances; we know that circumstances will disturb any degree
of abstract fitness. But in the nature of things there must be
one woman whose nature is specially well adapted to harmonise
with mine, or with yours. If there were any means of discovering
this woman in each case, then I have no doubt it would be worth a
man's utmost effort to do so, and any amount of erotic jubilation
would be reasonable when the discovery was made. But the thing is
impossible, and, what's more, we know what ridiculous fallibility
people display when they imagine they have found the best
substitute for that indiscoverable. This is what makes me
impatient with sentimental talk about marriage. An educated man
mustn't play so into the hands of ironic destiny.


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