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Gissing, George, 1857-1903

"New Grub Street"

And now to think of her causing all this
disturbance! I oughtn't to have done such a thing without
speaking about it to your father; but you know how afraid I am to
say a word to him about those people. And my sister's told me so
often I ought to be ashamed of myself never helping her and her
children; she thinks I could do such a lot if I only liked. And
now that I did try to do something, see what comes of it!'
Marian listened with a confusion of wretched feelings. But her
sympathies were strongly with her mother; as well as she could
understand the broken story, her father seemed to have no just
cause for his pitiless rage, though such an occasion would be
likely enough to bring out his worst faults.
'Is he in the study?' she asked.
'No, he went out at twelve o'clock, and he's never been back
since. I feel as if I must do something; I can't bear with it,
Marian. He tells me I'm the curse of his life--yes, he said that.
I oughtn't to tell you, I know I oughtn't; but it's more than I
can bear. I've always tried to do my best, but it gets harder and
harder for me.


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