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Gissing, George, 1857-1903

"New Grub Street"

You threw all the responsibility upon me--always
bearing in mind, I suppose, that there was a refuge for you. Even
now, I despise myself for saying such things of you, though I
know so bitterly that they are true. It takes a long time to see
you as such a different woman from the one I worshipped. In
passion, I can fling out violent words, but they don't yet answer
to my actual feeling. It will be long enough yet before I think
contemptuously of you. You know that when a light is suddenly
extinguished, the image of it still shows before your eyes. But
at last comes the darkness.'
Amy turned towards him once more.
'Instead of saying all this, you might be proving that I am
wrong. Do so, and I will gladly confess it.'
'That you are wrong? I don't see your meaning.'
'You might prove that you are willing to do your utmost to save
me from humiliation.'
'Amy, I have done my utmost. I have done more than you can
imagine.'
'No. You have toiled on in illness and anxiety--I know that. But
a chance is offered you now of working in a better way. Till that
is tried, you have no right to give all up and try to drag me
down with you.


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