His own behaviour had been cowardly
selfishness. Oh yes, she had loved him, had been eager to believe
in him. But there was always that voice of warning in his mind;
he foresaw--he knew--
And if he killed himself? Not here; no lurid horrors for that
poor girl and her relatives; but somewhere at a distance, under
circumstances which would render the recovery of his body
difficult, yet would leave no doubt of his death. Would that,
again, be cowardly? The opposite, when once it was certain that
to live meant poverty and wretchedness. Amy's grief, however
sincere, would be but a short trial compared with what else might
lie before her. The burden of supporting her and Willie would be
a very slight one if she went to live in her mother's house. He
considered the whole matter night after night, until perchance it
happened that sleep had pity upon him for an hour before the time
of rising.
Autumn was passing into winter. Dark days, which were always an
oppression to his mind, began to be frequent, and would soon
succeed each other remorselessly. Well, if only each of them
represented four written slips.
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