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Gissing, George, 1857-1903

"New Grub Street"

The chilling of brain and heart, the
unnerving of the hands, the slow gathering about one of fear and
shame and impotent wrath, the dread feeling of helplessness, of
the world's base indifference. Poverty! Poverty!
And for hours he could not sleep. His eyes kept filling with
tears, the beating of his heart was low; and in his solitude he
called upon Amy with pitiful entreaty: 'Do not forsake me! I love
you! I love you!'
But that went by. Six days, five days, four days--will one's
heart burst with happiness? The flat is taken, is furnished, up
there towards the sky, eight flights of stone steps.
'You're a confoundedly lucky fellow, Reardon,' remarked Milvain,
who had already become very intimate with his new friend. 'A good
fellow, too, and you deserve it.'
'But at first I had a horrible suspicion.'
'I guess what you mean. No; I wasn't even in love with her,
though I admired her. She would never have cared for me in any
case; I am not sentimental enough.'
'The deuce!'
'I mean it in an inoffensive sense. She and I are rather too much
alike, I fancy.


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