Said he, "This dollar bill?
I think I'd rather not!"
The poor girl sat abashed,
While every one began
To have suspicions of
This female gentleman.
One morning, hast'ning home,
It rained--to her regret,
And just before her walked
A young man getting wet.
She stepped up to him quick,
And said, with courtesy rare,
"It's raining, sir; will you
My large umbrella share?"
The young man sprang aside,
Beneath a leaky spout;
The water from his clothes
Ran like a stream for trout.
His hand upon his watch
He clapped, and cried, "Don't stop!
Just travel on, I say,
Or I shall call a 'cop!'"
This sort of thing she tried
In many such a case;
But every time she met
Deplorable disgrace.
At last she said, "Oh, ho!
My plan it is no use;
When I politeness show
I always get abuse.
The day is yet to come
When female courtesy
Is wanted by the men;
No more of it for me!"
She straight sought SUSAN A.,
And joined her haughty clan
And tried no more to be
A female gentleman.
* * * * *
OUR PORTFOLIO.
DEAR PUNCHINELLO: Having been appointed by the Committee of the
"American Universal Protection Society," of which you are chairman, to
call upon our honored Secretary of State, with the view of obtaining
protection for the interests of our merchants who are now endeavoring to
create a trade in ant-eaters with the inhabitants of the Chickadiddle
Islands in the South Sea, I have the honor to submit the following
synopsis of what took place at the interview:
I found Mr.
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