* * * * *
LOCAL.
The enterprising reporter who discovered an earthquake in the eastern
districts of the city, a few days since, has been obliged to employ a
snake-charmer to extract from his left boot an immense anaconda that had
effected a lodgement there.
[Illustration: FOLLOWING SUIT.-A Possible Sort of Reta(i)liation.
"GOOD GRACIOUS, ARABELLA! DO BE CAREFUL--YOU'VE GOT YOUR FOOT ON THE
GENTLEMAN'S TRAIN!"
"WELL, HOW CAN ONE HELP IT, WHEN THOSE ABSURD TRAINS ARE ALWAYS GETTING
UNDER ONE'S FEET?"]
* * * * *
THE FEMALE GENTLEMAN.
A MOURNFUL BALLAD OF THE PERIOD.
A certain fair young maid,
With mind on progress bent,
Could not endure the way
Reformers mostly went.
Those rights she wished to gain,
Which SUSAN A. expects,
But still she would not lose
The softness of her sex.
If at a station she
For cars did wait in vain,
She would not stride about,
And "damn" the hapless train.
"With men I'll equal be,"
She said, "if women can;
But still I must become
A female gentleman.
Hereafter I shall try
Polite and kind to be;
And treat all gentlemen
As gentlemen treat me."
One morning, in a stage,
She rode to STEWART'S store--
A young man soon got in,
And sat down near the door.
Then, leaning towards the man,
While passengers did stare,
She smiling said, "Good sir,
Shall I pass up your fare?"
The young man started back
As if he had been shot.
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