" Corn cultivated by an old
maid is irreverently called pop-corn. Why Indian corn should differ from
white corn, I have never yet been able to discover. It flourishes under
the same circumstances, and requires the same kind of care, and, except
in color, cannot be distinguished from the white. Probably RED CLOUD
could have told us the difference, if he had been properly interviewed.
Scientifically, corn is _tumorus in footibus_; theologically, it is a
"condemned" nuisance; humorously, you can't plant your foot without
planting corn; practically, everybody treads on it.
LOT.
* * * * *
TO MANAGERS OF RAILROADS.
PUNCHINELLO invites the attention of managers of railroads, generally,
but especially that of the President and Directors of the Morris and
Essex Railroad Company, to his new Patent, Portable, Folding, Tripodular
Derrick, with self-elongating extensions. The purposes to which this
machine may be applied are too numerous to mention, but it will be found
particularly useful for lifting up, and expelling from the cars, the
heavy commuters of the railroad just referred to, who decline to pay
double fare for stopping at Newark, and who sometimes even object to
being ejected for non-payment of said perfectly fair fare.
In practical operation this machine is at once simple and complete. It
is also refined, elevating, symmetrical, and chaste. By properly
adjusting it, a railroad conductor can easily lift a recalcitrant
passenger, and project him through one of the windows of the car,
(provided said window is large enough to admit of such exit,) into any
selected pool, or pond, or quagmire, or any other sort of mire, of the
miasmatic salt meadows, with the produce of which Morris and Essex stock
is so satisfactorily salted down.
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