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Various

"Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 16, July 16, 1870"

) Now, when, during the war, I was building forts at
the Dry Tortugas, my overseer informed me that a fort was most easily
taken when attacked on all sides, so I have concluded to pitch into
agriculture from every quarter. Therefore my remarks may be considered
as made in a Scientific-theological-humorous-practical sense.
Postponing a description of soils to a future time, I proceed to
elucidate, first,
CORN.
Of this vegetable there are five varieties, viz.: hard corn, soft corn,
chicken corn, pop corn, and Indian corn. It is a very useful production,
as it affords occupation to a large number of itinerant persons, who
have peculiar ways of sub-soiling it, some by a knife, some by washes,
and some by plasters. This vegetable is generally planted early,
(shoemakers having a monopoly of the cultivation,) and, curiously
enough, the larger the crop the less the owner likes it. Rainy weather
is good for this vegetable, as a damp day swells it very rapidly. It
requires a deep soil, for you cannot have any corn without at least one
foot, though two feet will probably produce a much larger crop.
The best treatment for hard corn is to subsoil it with a hatchet, though
a little judicious paring is good; soft corn sometimes does the pairing
itself, though not judiciously. Soft corn is sometimes called sweet
corn, on the principle, "sweet are the uses of adversity." The variety
of this vegetable cultivated by roosters is called chicken corn, though
no farmer can give a reason therefor, as no chicken ever had anything to
do with a shoe, unless, perhaps, "shoo-fly.


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