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Various

"Punch, Or The London Charivari, Volume 102, April 2, 1892"

...
The result is that England lags far behind all other civilised
countries in the use of the telephone."--_Times_.]
AIR--"_Ulalume_."
_Cinderella_, you sit and look sober,
_Cinderella_, you mope and look queer--
You mope, and look dolefully queer;
As chill as JOHN MILLAIS' "_October_,"
As you have done, this many a year.
It is hard on you; MOZART or AUBER
Might fail your depression to cheer--
Had you taken the draught named of Glauber,
You could scarce look duller, my dear
II.
Our times, dear, are truly Titanic,
Perfection seems Science's goal--
Dim, distant, dark Science's goal--
But we're still a bit given to panic.
Monopolies moodily roll--
Monopolies restlessly roll--
That's why there's a movement volcanic
That stirs us from pole unto pole--
A moaning that's vainly volcanic,
In the realms of the (Telegraph) pole.
III.
Deputations are serious and sober,
Officials look palsied and sere--
They indulge in rhetoric small-beer
(Instead of sound sparkling October)
They're frightened about _you_, my dear--
(You, at present in two senses, dear!)
They would scan the far future, and probe her,
But can't--and it makes them feel queer;
As you sit by the fire, looking sober,
You make _them_ sit up and feel queer.


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