As misery alone sees miracles, so is there many a truth into which misery
alone can enter. My little one, do not pity your uncle much; I have
learned to lift up my heart to God. I look to him who is the saviour of
men to deliver me from blood-guiltiness--to lead me into my brother's
pardon, and enable me somehow to make up to him for the wrong I did him.
"Some would think I ought to give myself up to justice. But I felt and
feel that I owe my brother reparation, not my country the opportunity of
retribution. It cannot be demanded of me to pretermit, because of my
crime, the duty more strongly required of me because of the crime. Must I
not use my best endeavour to turn aside its evil consequences from
others? Was I, were it even for the cleansing of my vile soul, to leave
the child of my brother alone with a property exposing her to the
machinations of prowling selfishness! Would it atone for the wrong of
depriving her of one uncle, to take the other from her, and so leave her
defenceless with a burden she could not carry? Must I take so-called
justice on myself at her expense--to the oppression, darkening, and
endangering of her life? Were I accused, I would tell the truth; but I
would not volunteer a phantasmal atonement. What comfort would it be to
my brother that I was hanged? Let the punishment God pleased come upon
me, I said; as far as lay in me, I would live for my brother's child! I
have lived for her.
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