She must have acted
the same way with my brother. I saw him enslaved just as I--knew we were
faring alike--knew the very thoughts as well as feelings in his heart,
and instead of being consumed with sorrow, chuckled at the _knowledge_
that _I_ was the favoured one! I suspect now that she showed him more
favour than myself, and taught him to put on the look of the hopeless
one. I fancied I caught at times a covert flash in his eye: he knew what
he knew! If so, poor Edmund, thou hadst the worst of it every way!
"Shall I ever get her kisses off my lips, her poison out of my brain!
From my heart, her image was burned in a moment, as utterly as if by
years of hell!
"The estrangement between us was sudden; there were degrees only in the
widening of it. First came embarrassment at meeting. Then all commerce of
wish, thought, and speculation, ended. There was no more merrymaking
jugglery with identity; each was himself only, and for himself alone.
Gone was all brother-gladness. We avoided each other more and more. When
we must meet, we made haste to part. Heaven was gone from home. Each yet
felt the same way toward the other, but it was the way of repelling, not
drawing. When we passed in the street, it was with a look that said, or
at least meant--'You are my brother! I don't want you!' We ceased even to
nod to each other. Still in our separation we could not separate.
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