It was the
only way to endure his absence. Working for him, thinking what he would
like, trying to carry it out, referring every perplexity to him and
imagining his answer, he grew so much dearer to me, that his absence was
filled with hope. My heart being in it, I had soon learned enough of the
management to perceive where, in more than one quarter, improvement,
generally in the way of saving, was possible: I do not mean by any
lowering of wages; my uncle would have conned me small thanks for such
improvement as that! Neither was it long before I began to delight in the
feeling that I was in partnership with the powers of life; that I had to
do with the operation and government and preservation of things created;
that I was doing a work to which I was set by the Highest; that I was at
least a floor-sweeper in the house of God, a servant for the good of his
world. Existence had grown fuller and richer; I had come, like a toad out
of a rock, into a larger, therefore truer universe, in which I had work
to do that was wanted. Had I not been thus expanded and strengthened, how
should I have patiently waited while hearing nothing of my uncle!
It was not many days before John began to press me to let my uncle have
his way: where was the good any longer, he said, in our not being
married? But I could not endure the thought of being married without my
uncle: it would not seem real marriage without his giving me to my
husband.
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