The paper I will give you now; but you will not open it until I
give you leave."
"Certainly not, uncle."
"If I should die before you have read it, I permit and desire you to read
it. I know your loyalty so well, that I believe you would not look at it
even after my death, if I had not given you permission. There are those
who treat the dead as if they had no more rights of any kind. 'Get away
to Hades,' they say; 'you are nothing now.' But you will not behave so to
your uncle, little one! When the time comes for you to read my story,
remember that I _now_, in preparation for the knowledge that will give
you, ask you to pardon me _then_ for all the pain it will cause you and
your husband--John being that husband. I have tried to do my best for
you, Orbie: how much better I might have done had I had a clear
conscience, God only knows. It may be that I was the tenderer uncle that
I could not be a better one."
He hid his face in his hands, and burst into a tempest of weeping.
It was terrible to see the man to whom I had all my life looked with a
reverence that prepared me for knowing the great father, weeping like a
bitterly repentant and self-abhorrent child. It seemed sacrilege to be
present. I felt as if my eyes, only for seeing him thus, deserved the
ravens to pick them out.
I could not contain myself. I rose and threw my arms about him, got close
to him as a child to her mother, and, as soon as the passion of my love
would let me, sobbed out,
"Uncle! darling uncle! I love you more than ever! I did not know before
that I could love so much! I could _kill_ that woman with my own hands! I
wish I had killed her when I pulled her down that day! It is right to
kill poisonous creatures: she is worse than any snake!"
He smiled a sad little smile, and shook his head.
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