I would trust you with my eternal soul. You
can see well enough there is something terrible to tell, for would I not
otherwise laugh to scorn the threat of that bad woman? No one on the
earth has so little right to say what she knows of me. Yet I do share a
secret with her which feels as if it would burst my heart. I wish it
would. That would open the one way out of all my trouble. Believe me,
little one, if any ever needed God, I need him. I need the pardon that
goes hand in hand with righteous judgment, the pardon of him who alone
can make lawful excuse."
"May God be your judge, uncle, and neither man nor woman!"
"I do not think _you_ would altogether condemn me, little one, much as I
loathe myself--terribly as I deserve condemnation."
"Condemn you, uncle! I want to know all, just to show you that nothing
can make the least difference. If you were as bad as that bad woman says,
you should find there was one of your own blood who knew what love meant.
But I know you are good, uncle, whatever you may have done."
"Little one, you comfort me," sighed my uncle. "I cannot tell you this
thing, for when I had told it, I should want to kill myself more than
ever. But neither can I bear that you should not know it. I will _not_
have a secret with that woman! I have always intended to tell you
everything. I have the whole fearful story set down for your eyes--and
those of any you may wish to see it: I cannot speak the words into your
ears.
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