With girls, of course, it was different.
Girls were superfluous and unnecessary creatures with a false and
inflated idea of the value of soap and water. Their hands weren't
good for much anyway. Later on we discovered that a girl's hands
were excellent for holding purposes in a hammock or while coming
back from a straw ride, but I am speaking now of the earlier stages
of our development, before the presence of the ostensibly weaker
sex began to awaken responsive throbs in our several bosoms--in
short when girls were merely nuisances and things to be ignored
whenever possible. In that early stage of his existence hands
have no altruistic or sentimental or ornamental value for a boy--
they are for useful purposes altogether and are regarded as such.
It is only when he has reached the age of tail coats and spike-fence
collars that he discovers two hands are frequently too many and
often not enough. They are too many at your first church wedding
when wearing your first pair of white kids and they are not enough
at a five o'clock tea.
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