Now, at least, I know what I am going to
have this evening. Such enjoyment as there is I get it, and there's
an end of it, and no worry about it. As for you, you are all worry;
and even granted that you get, in the end, something superlatively
satisfactory, why, it will hardly make up to you for all you have
gone through to get it!"
I said nothing. We had got up to our rooms by this time, and I flung
myself into the easy chair.
Howard went into his room and brought back his dress shoes to put
them on in mine, that he might follow up his argument.
"Now, look here, Vic, which of us two fellows is the most ready to
go out of the world? In the Bible or prayer-book or somewhere we are
told to live so that we may be willing and prepared to die any
minute. Well, that's just what I do. I haven't a scrap of a tie to
life. I don't think there will be anything better in it than what I
have had already. I'd go to-morrow. But you, you would not like it a
bit, and you can't deny it. You have got all the ties of your
unsatisfied desires. You want to get Lucia--you want to make your
name. You would be awfully cut up now if you were told you were
going to be bundled out of life in ten minutes; and I--I shouldn't
care!"
Howard had finished fastening his patent shoes, and now sat back in
his chair, one leg crossed over the other, and his hands behind his
head.
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