"
"I can't think how you can so misjudge me," I said. "If you would
make me an allowance--say 300 Pounds Sterling a year--half the rent
of this house we live in!" I added bitterly. "I should marry Lucia,
but on that account I should not neglect the work. Incentive! I
should have every inducement to work then as now!--if inducement
were necessary--Which it is not. I work now, not because I am driven
by motives and wishes, but because to write is as natural to me as
to sleep or breathe!"
"Please remember you are talking to a sane Englishman," he answered
coldly; "and if you want me to listen to you, you must talk sense."
"Very good," I said, bringing my teeth down nervously on the cigar.
"Put it entirely on the ground of motive if you like; I should want
to succeed then doubly, and success is only a thing of time. It will
come one day to me, as it has come to others who have had the same
difficulties at first."
My father smiled sceptically.
"We shall see. In any case, if you are so certain of success, you
can't object to the fulfilment of your wishes resting on so sure a
contingency!"
"That has nothing to do with it. I did not say how long success
might not be deferred, and I am unwilling to wait in these
circumstances."
"Ah!--delightful frankness!" he returned derisively, and I looked
away from him into the fire.
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