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Smith Jr., J. Thorne

"Biltmore Oswald The Diary of a Hapless Recruit"

Oh, son," broke off the Chief,
"if you only knew the uncontrolled violence and fury of two contending
women. Nothing you meet on shipboard will ever equal it. I was
speechless, rocked in the surf of a tumult of words. And in the midst
of it all what should happen but the husband of the mermaid pops out
of the water with a funny little bit of a merbaby in his arms.
"'Go home at once, sir,' screams my wife, 'and put on your clothes.'
"'I will,' he shouts back, 'if my wife will come along with me.'
"He was a weazened up little old man with a crooked back. Not very
prepossessing. I could hardly blame his wife.
"'So that bit of stuff is your wife, is it?' cries out my old lady,
and with that she began telling him her past.
"'I know it,' says the little old merman at last, almost crying; 'I
know it, but I ain't got no control over her whatsoever. I've been
trying to get her to come home for the last fortnight, but she just
won't leave off going around with the sailors. The whole beach is
ashamed of her. It's general talk down below. What can I do? The
little old coral house is going to wrack and ruin and the baby ain't
been properly took care of since she left.


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