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Smith Jr., J. Thorne

"Biltmore Oswald The Diary of a Hapless Recruit"

You ought to be ashamed
of yourself--a great big girl like you.'
"'Aw, pipe down, old grizzle face,' says she; 'wot have you got in the
bucket?' And if you will believe me she began raising herself out of
the water. 'Give me some,' says she.
"'Stop,' I cries out exasperated; 'stop where you are; you've gone far
enough. For shame.'
"'I'll come all the way out,' says she, laughing, 'unless you give me
some of wot you got in that bucket.'
"'Shame,' I repeated, 'ain't you got no sense of decency?'
"'None wot so ever,' she replied, 'but I'm awfully thirsty. Gimme a
drink or out I'll come.'
"Now you can see for yourself that I couldn't afford to have a woman
in her get-up sitting around with me on the end of a dock, being
married as I was and my folks all good honest church folks, and bright
moon shining in the sky to boot, so I was just naturally forced to
give in to the brazen thing and reach her down the bucket, a full one
at that. It came back empty and she was forwarder than ever.
"'Say,' she cries out, swimming around most exasperatingly, 'you're a
nice old party. What do your folks know you by?'
"I told her my name was none of her business and that I was a married
man and that I wished she'd go away and let me go on with my night
watching.


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