Item four: Didn't mark time correctly.
Item five: Was in step once.
Now all of these things are trifling in themselves, but taken en
mass, as it were, it leads up to a sizable display; at least, so I was
told in words that denied any other interpretation by my P.O. and
several pals of his. After the review our regimental commander lined
us up and addressed us as follows:
"About that review to-day," he began, "it was terrible" (long,
dramatic pause). "It was probably the worst review I have ever seen
(several P.O.'s glanced at me reproachfully), not only that," he
continued, "but it was the worst review that anybody has ever seen.
Anybody! (shouted) without exception! (shouted) awful review! (pause)
Terrible!"
We steadied in the ranks and waited for our doom.
"It will never be so again," he continued, "I'll see to that. I'll
drill ye myself. If you have to get up at four o'clock in the morning
to drill in order to meet your classes, I'll see that ye do it.
Dropping guns! (pause). Talking in ranks! (pause). Out-o-step
(terrible pause). Marking time wrong. Everything wrong! Company
commanders, take 'em away."
We were took.
"All of those things," said my P.
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