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Smith Jr., J. Thorne

"Biltmore Oswald The Diary of a Hapless Recruit"

I used to affect white pajamas, the
same seeming to harmonize with the natural purity of my nature, but
after the war I fear I shall be forced to discontinue the practise in
favor of more lurid attire. However, I still believe that a bachelor
should never wear anything other than white pajamas or at the most
lavender, but this of course is merely a personal opinion.

_June 14th._ I have been hard put to-day. The Lord only knows what
trials and tribulations will be visited upon me next. At present I am
quite unnerved. To-day I was initiated into all the horrifying secrets
and possibilities of the bayonet, European style. Never do I remember
spending a more unpleasant half an hour. The instructor was a
resourceful man possessed of a most vivid imagination. Before he had
finished with us potential delicatessen dealers were lying around as
thick as flies. We were brushing them off.
After several hair-raising exhibitions he formed us into two lines
facing each other and told us to begin.
"Now lunge," he said, "and look as if you meant business."
I glanced ingratiatingly across at my adversary. He was simply glaring
at me. Never have I seen an expression of greater ferocity.


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