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Twain, Mark, 1835-1910

"Some Rambling Notes of an Idle Excursion"

He wandered here and there, but without result. Nobody sat upon
a barrel, as is the custom of the idle in other lands, yet all the
isolated barrels were humanly occupied. Whosoever had a foot to spare
put it on a barrel, if all the places on it were not already taken. The
habits of all peoples are determined by their circumstances. The
Bermudians lean upon barrels because of the scarcity of lamp-posts.
Many citizens came on board and spoke eagerly to the officers--inquiring
about the Turco-Russian war news, I supposed. However, by listening
judiciously I found that this was not so. They said, "What is the price
of onions?" or, "How's onions?" Naturally enough this was their first
interest; but they dropped into the war the moment it was satisfied.
We went ashore and found a novelty of a pleasant nature: there were no
hackmen, hacks, or omnibuses on the pier or about it anywhere, and nobody
offered his services to us, or molested us in any way. I said it was
like being in heaven.


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