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Pansy, 1841-1930

"Ester Ried Yet Speaking"


Of late, strange reflections had come to her. She had measured Professor
Ellis with other men, Christian men, and he had appeared at a
disadvantage. Also she had measured herself by the side of other
Christian workers, and herself had appeared at a disadvantage. A vague
unrest and dissatisfaction with her Christian experience were growing on
her. Moreover, she was growing interested in those boys, as she had not
believed that it would be possible for her to be interested when she
first saw them. She began to believe that some of them, at least, would
be saved. She wanted to help save them, and to help others. Her
martyrdom dwindled rapidly into insignificance, until there would pass
entire days in which she did not once remember that she as an unhappy
girl.
At last, but a week or two before this afternoon, she had taken her
affairs in hand, and tried to look steadily at them. The result of her
hours of thought and prayer was that she was bound to Professor Ellis.
That is, provided there should come a time in the dim and distant future
when her father should give his consent, it would be her duty and her
pleasure, because of what had passed between them, to marry him. Still,
she began to feel less amazed at her father's opinion of him, less angry
about it.


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