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Tarkington, Booth, 1869-1946

"Penrod"

"Who said
it first, I'd like to know?" he demanded. "I was going to be a minister
from long back of to-day, I guess. And I guess I said I was going to be
a minister right to-day before any of you said anything at all. DIDN'T
I, Herman? YOU heard me, didn't you, Herman? That's the very thing
started you talking about it, wasn't it, Herman?"
"You' right," said Herman. "You the firs' one to say it."
Penrod, Sam, and Maurice immediately lost faith in Herman.
"What if you did say it first?" Penrod shouted. "You couldn't BE a
minister if you were a hunderd years old!"
"I bet his mother wouldn't let him be one," said Sam. "She never lets
him do anything."
"She would, too," retorted Georgie. "Ever since I was little, she----"
"He's too sissy to be a preacher!" cried Maurice. "Listen at his squeaky
voice!"
"I'm going to be a better minister," shouted Georgie, "than all three of
you put together. I could do it with my left hand!"
The three laughed bitingly in chorus. They jeered, derided, scoffed,
and raised an uproar which would have had its effect upon much stronger
nerves than Georgie's. For a time he contained his rising choler and
chanted monotonously, over and over: "I COULD! I COULD, TOO! I COULD!
I COULD, TOO!" But their tumult wore upon him, and he decided to avail
himself of the recent decision whereby a big H was rendered innocuous
and unprofane. Having used the expression once, he found it comforting,
and substituted it for: "I could! I could, too!"
But it relieved him only temporarily.


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