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Tarkington, Booth, 1869-1946

"Penrod"


"Didn't he tell me your papa had to marry your mamma, or else he
never'd got to handle a cent of her money? Certumly, people gotta marry.
Everybody. You don't know anybody over twenty years old that isn't
married--except maybe teachers."
"Look at policemen!" shouted Sam triumphantly. "You don't s'pose anybody
can make policemen get married, I reckon, do you?"
"Well, policemen, maybe," Maurice was forced to admit. "Policemen and
teachers don't, but everybody else gotta."
"Well, I'll be a policeman," said Sam. "THEN I guess they won't come
around tellin' me I have to get married. What you goin' to be, Penrod?"
"Chief police," said the laconic Penrod.
"What you?" Sam inquired of quiet Georgie Bassett.
"I am going to be," said Georgie, consciously, "a minister."
This announcement created a sensation so profound that it was followed
by silence. Herman was the first to speak.
"You mean preachuh?" he asked incredulously. "You go' PREACH?"
"Yes," answered Georgie, looking like Saint Cecilia at the organ.
Herman was impressed. "You know all 'at preachuh talk?"
"I'm going to learn it," said Georgie simply.
"How loud kin you holler?" asked Herman doubtfully.
"He can't holler at all," Penrod interposed with scorn. "He hollers like
a girl. He's the poorest hollerer in town!"
Herman shook his head. Evidently he thought Georgie's chance of being
ordained very slender. Nevertheless, a final question put to the
candidate by the coloured expert seemed to admit one ray of hope.


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