Generally a natural rhythm runs through the whole organization: quick
pulse, fast breathing, hasty speech, rapid trains of thought, excitable
temper. Stillness of person and steadiness of features are signal marks
of good-breeding. Vulgar persons can't sit still, or, at least, they
must work their limbs or features.
Talking of one's own ails and grievances.--Bad enough, but not so bad as
insulting the person you talk with by remarking on his ill-looks, or
appealing to notice any of his personal peculiarities.
Apologizing.--A very desperate habit,--one that is rarely cured. Apology
is only egotism wrong side out. Nine times out of ten, the first thing a
man's companion knows of his shortcoming is from his apology. It is
mighty presumptuous on your part to suppose your small failures of so
much consequence that you must make a talk about them.
Good dressing, quiet ways, low tones of voice, lips that can wait, and
eyes that do not wander,--shyness of personalities, except in certain
intimate communions,--to be light in hand in conversation, to have ideas,
but to be able to make talk, if necessary, without them,--to belong to
the company you are in, and not to yourself,--to have nothing in your
dress or furniture so fine that you cannot afford to spoil it and get
another like it, yet to preserve the harmonies, throughout your person
and--dwelling: I should say that this was a fair capital of manners to
begin with.
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