That this had brought a great strait
upon me, being divided between friendship and duty, willing to visit
my friend in her illness, which the nature and law of friendship
required, yet unwilling to omit my duty by failing of my appearance
before him and the other justice, according to their command and my
promise, lest I should thereby subject, not my own reputation only,
but the reputation of my religious profession, to the suspicion of
guilt, and censure of willingly shunning a trial. To prevent which
I had chosen to anticipate the time, and came now to see if I could
give them satisfaction in what they had to object against me, and
thereupon being dismissed, pursue my journey into Sussex, or if by
them detained, to submit to Providence, and by an express to
acquaint my friend therewith, both to free her from an expectation
of my coming and myself from any imputation of neglect.
While I thus delivered myself I observed a sensible alteration in
the justice, and when I had done speaking, he first said he was very
sorry for Madam Penn's illness, of whose virtue and worth he spoke
very highly, yet not more than was her due; then he told me that for
her sake he would do what he could to further my visit to her;
"but," said he, "I am but one, and of myself can do nothing in it;
therefore you must go to Sir Benjamin Titchborn, and if he be at
home, see if you can prevail with him to meet me, that we may
consider of it.
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